The Spacer Saga: Day Seven

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit’s Monday!

Niko and I woke up bright and early this morn’ to get me to the orthodontist’s office for the replacement of my renegade/MIA spacer. It was Niko’s first time to accompany me to the office (unofficial Bring Your Husband to the Orthodontist Day?). (Shoutout to The Hubski: He’s been getting up with me at the crack o’ dawn to drop me off at work so that he can take The Vanshee to wherever it needs to go to get repaired. On his summer vacation. In 100-plus-degree weather. He wins all the horses.)

As we were walking into the office, Niko gestured to the office building and asked, “What about this house?” (We’ve been houseperusing (as opposed to the more purposeful househunting), and the ortho office looks like a nice house.) It would be a nice house. I dig the front door.

We settled in and caught the very end and very beginning of back-to-back Love It or List It episodes. (Gettin’ my cable fix at the ortho office!) I spent just a few minutes drooling over a cute li’l house with a lovely backyard, for it wasn’t long ’til I was beckoned to the back and shown into a chair.

The tech with biceps of steel laughed as she arranged her tools on the tray. “I told you that you wouldn’t have any trouble. And what have you had? Nothin’ but trouble!” We had a good chuckle about my spacer woes.

Open mouth. Insert spacer. Close mouth.

“We’ll see you tomorrow morning!”

“Yes, ma’am, you will!” I waved as I returned to the waiting area.

“You ready?” I asked Niko, who started a little when I addressed him.

“Oh… oh? You’re done?”


“That was it?”


“Wow. That was fast!”

Indeed it was.

And then it was off to work.

As of this time, all of my spacers have remained intact, and I’m psyching myself out for tomorrow’s introduction of metal into my mouth and a drastic change in my eating habits.

Typing of which, yesterday afternoon, as I was wringing my hair out from an afternoon swim, I happened across an “Eat This, Not That” list posted to the bathroom mirror in Lily Ann’s room (youngest sister of one of my best amigas). Lily Ann is currently on her own braces journey, so I’ve been picking her brain for helpful hints and tips. Behold! Even her bathroom mirror holds dental wisdom!

So I glanced at the list—specifically, the “DO NOT EAT” category. Popcorn: mm, OK. Hard nuts: I think I can deal with this if crunchy peanut butter is debatable. Taffy: no probalo. Bagels: …



No, not my bagels! Not my favorite at-least-once-a-month-somebody-brings-a-boxful-to-share-at-the-office breakfast food!

This is gonna take some serious willpower. My ability to resist cream-cheese-covered goodness is… minimal, at best. For serious. I might lick all the cream cheese off a bagel and then stare at it despondently, just because I can—although I really, really dislike wasting food, so that may be my saving grace in this sitch. *le sigh*

On the bright side, one of my coworkers brought a feast of assorted muffins, cinnamon buns, coffee cake, sausage links, yogurts, fruit juices, and chocolate cake (!) to share with his fellow employees this morning. It was a veritable Last Supper Breakfast for me, because the irony that I’m gettin’ my braces on right before the 4th of July and on the very day of an office potluck lunch is not lost on this food-lover.

Farewell, bagels. I will miss you so.


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